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given this religion (Christianity) and thought this way. I was taught that
God exists, but there was no direct contact with God, so we had to make contact
with Him through Jesus - he was in fact the door to God. This was more or less
accepted by me, but I did not swallow it all.
I looked at some of the statues of Jesus; they were just stones with no
life. And when they said that God is three, I was puzzled even more but could
not argue. I more or less believed it, because I had to have respect for the
faith of my parents.
Pop
Star
Gradually I became alienated from this religious upbringing. I started
making music. I wanted to be a big star. All those things I saw in the films and
on the media took hold of me, and perhaps I thought this was my God, the goal of
making money. I had an uncle who had a beautiful car. "Well," I said, "he has it
made. He has a lot of money." The people around me influenced me to think that
this was it; this world was their God.
I
decided then that this was the life for me; to make a lot of money, have a
'great life.' Now my examples were the pop stars. I started making songs, but
deep down I had a feeling for humanity, a feeling that if I became rich I would
help the needy. (It says in the Qur'an, we make a promise, but when we make
something, we want to hold onto it and become greedy.)
So
what happened was that I became very famous. I was still a teenager, my name and
photo were splashed in all the media. They made me larger than life, so I wanted
to live larger than life and the only way to do that was to be intoxicated (with
liquor and drugs).
In the Hospital
After a year of financial success and 'high' living, I became very ill,
contracted TB and had to be hospitalized. It was then that I started to
think: What was to happen to me? Was I just a body, and my goal in life
was merely to satisfy this body? I realized now that this calamity was a
blessing given to me by Allah, a chance to open my eyes - "Why am I here? Why am
I in bed?" - and I started looking for some of the answers. At that time there
was great interest in the Eastern mysticism. I began reading, and the first
thing I began to become aware of was death, and that the soul moves on; it does
not stop. I felt I was taking the road to bliss and high accomplishment. I
started meditating and even became a vegetarian. I now believed in 'peace and
flower power,' and this was the general trend. But what I did believe in
particular was that I was not just a body. This awareness came to me at the
hospital.
One day when I was walking and I was caught in the rain, I began running
to the shelter and then I realized, 'Wait a minute, my body is getting wet, my
body is telling me I am getting wet.' This made me think of a saying that the
body is like a donkey, and it has to be trained where it has to go. Otherwise,
the donkey will lead you where it wants to go.
Then I realized I had a will, a God-given gift: follow the will of God. I
was fascinated by the new terminology I was learning in the Eastern religion. By
now I was fed up with Christianity. I started making music
again and this time I started reflecting my own thoughts. I remember the
lyric of one of my songs. It goes like this: "I wish I knew, I wish I knew what
makes the Heaven, what makes the Hell. Do I get to know You in my bed or some
dusty cell while others reach the big hotel?" and I knew I was on the Path.
I
also wrote another song, "The Way to Find God Out." I became even more famous in
the world of music. I really had a difficult time because I was getting rich and
famous, and at the same time, I was sincerely searching for the Truth. Then I
came to a stage where I decided that Buddhism is all right and noble, but I was
not ready to leave the world. I was too attached to the world and was not
prepared to become a monk and to isolate myself from society. I tried Zen and
Ching, numerology, tarot cards and astrology. I tried to look back into the
Bible and could not find anything. At this time I did not know anything about
Islam, and then, what I regarded as a miracle occurred. My brother had visited
the mosque in Jerusalem and was greatly impressed that while on the one hand it
throbbed with life (unlike the churches and synagogues which were empty), on the
other hand, an atmosphere of peace and tranquility prevailed.
The
Qur'an
When he came to London he brought back a translation of the Qur'an, which
he gave to me. He did not become a Muslim, but he felt something in this
religion, and thought I might find something in it also.
When I received the book, a guidance that would explain everything to me -
who I was; what was the purpose of life; what was the reality and what would be
the reality; and where I came from - I realized that this was the true religion;
religion not in the sense the West understands it, not the type for only your
old age. In the West, whoever wishes to embrace a religion and make it his only
way of life is deemed a fanatic. I was not a fanatic, I was at first confused
between the body and the soul. Then I realized that the body and soul are not
apart and you don't have to go to the mountain to be religious. We must follow
the will of God. Then we can rise higher than the angels. The first thing I
wanted to do now was to be a Muslim.
I
realized that everything belongs to God, that slumber does not overtake Him. He
created everything. At this point I began to lose the pride in me, because
hereto I had thought the reason I was here was because of my own greatness. But
I realized that I did not create myself, and the whole purpose of my being here
was to submit to the teaching that has been perfected by the religion we know as
Al-Islam. At this point I started discovering my faith. I felt I was a Muslim.
On reading the Qur'an, I now realized that all the Prophets sent by God brought
the same message. Why then were the Jews and Christians different? I know now
how the Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah and that they had changed His
Word. Even the Christians misunderstand God's Word and called Jesus the son of
God. Everything made so much sense. This is the beauty of the Qur'an; it asks
you to reflect and reason, and not to worship the sun or moon but the One Who
has created everything. The Qur'an asks man to reflect upon the sun and moon and
God's creation in general. Do you realize how different the sun is from the
moon? They are at varying distances from the earth, yet appear the same size to
us; at times one seems to overlap the other. Even when many of the astronauts go
to space, they see the insignificant size of the earth and vastness of space.
They become very religious, because they have seen the Signs of Allah.
When I read the Qur'an further, it talked about prayer, kindness and
charity. I was not a Muslim yet, but I felt that the only answer for me was the
Qur'an, and God had sent it to me, and I kept it a secret. But the Qur'an also
speaks on different levels. I began to understand it on another level, where the
Qur'an says, "Those who believe do not take disbelievers for friends and the
believers are brothers." Thus at this point I wished to meet my Muslim brothers.
Conversion
Then I decided to journey to Jerusalem (as my brother had done). At
Jerusalem, I went to the mosque and sat down. A man asked me what I wanted. I
told him I was a Muslim. He asked what was my name. I told him, "Stevens." He
was confused. I then joined the prayer, though not so successfully. Back in
London, I met a sister called Nafisa. I told her I wanted to embrace Islam and
she directed me to the New Regent Mosque. This was in 1977, about one and a half
years after I received the Qur'an. Now I realized that I must get rid of my
pride, get rid of Iblis, and face one direction. So on a Friday, after Jummah I
went to the Imam and declared my faith (testifying to the oneness of God and
that Muhammad is His messenger) at this hands. You have before you someone who
had achieved fame and fortune. But guidance was something that eluded me, no
matter how hard I tried, until I was shown the Qur'an. Now I realize I can get
in direct contact with God, unlike Christianity or any other religion. As one
Hindu lady told me, "You don't understand the Hindus. We believe in one God; we
use these objects (idols) to merely concentrate." What she was saying was that
in order to reach God, one has to create associates, which are idols for the
purpose. But Islam removes all these barriers. The only thing that separates the
believers from the disbelievers is the salat ( prayer ). This is the process of
purification.
Finally
I wish to say that everything I do is for the pleasure of Allah and
pray that you gain some inspirations from my experiences. Furthermore, I
would like to stress that I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I
embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized that no person is perfect.
Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) we
will be successful. May Allah give us guidance to follow the path of the ummah
(nation) of Muhammad (PBUH). Ameen!
Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens)
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